Scene 1
Venue : Microsoft Corporation, New York, US Some s/w engineers areseeing some photographs.
s/w engg 1 : What's that?
s/w engg 2 : Bob's photographs from India.
s/w engg 1 : Wow. Let me see. Which is this place?
s/w engg 3 : (Sees the photo) This is Laxmi Road, Pune
s/w engg 1 : Fundoo yaar! And what is this? He got Bajaj Pulsar also.
s/w engg 2 : Let me see (sees). This guy enjoys life maan...
s/w engg 3 : You know how much an Bajaj Pulsar costs? Nearly 600K. Sayit in dollars...
s/w engg 2: Oops. We can't dream of such a thing here.
s/w engg 1 : Let's go to India & try for a job.[Everybody excited.]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
SCENE 2
Venue: Sun Microsystems, SanFrancisco, California, US
s/w engg 1: I'm with you man. My Visa is expected anytime. Soon I willfly to India
s/w engg 2 : Ohhh.... When is the party?
s/w engg 1: When I get it on hand.
s/w engg 2: Where will you be working?
s/w engg 1 : I'll be working in Magarpatta
s/w engg 2 : Oh! Magarpatta. Great yaar. where it is...
s/w engg 1 : It is in Pune.
s/w engg 3 : Fundoo place yaar. Nice climate Not like California. You'lllove the weather yaar. One of my friends is in Jaipur, Rajasthan... Hesays it's the ultimate place to live in. Cool man.
s/w engg 2 : Who is the client yaar?
s/w engg 1: You know Mumbai Municipal Corporation?
s/w engg 3 : Yeah. MMC. One of my friends is there in the Road CleaningDivision. Most challenging job yaar. People are working in the cuttingedge of technology there.
s/w engg 1 : I'll be writing software for the accounts department of theGCU.
s/w engg 2: GCU? what it means...?
s/w engg 1 : that is Garbage Collecting Unit.
s/w engg 3 : : Great yaar. That's what I like about that country. Youcan get a job which requires all your skill. Not like here. See I'mwriting software for the space shuttle remote control. I hate this.
s/w engg 1 : Don't worry guys. I'll give you my Hotmail id. You can sendyour resume to me and I'll forward it to the HRD.[Everybody takes down his Hotmail id.]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
SCENE 3
Venue: IBM, New York, US
(Conversation between a Male s/w engg. and Female s/w engg.)
Male : Hi!
Female: Hi. You know. I'm planning to settle in India soon.
Male : What??
Female : Yeah. My marriage will be here in America only. He is doing his Ph.D in Bharthi University and he's coming here for a month. His studywill be over in 2 months. He's already got a job in MSCB. We planned tosettle in Pune itself... I'm also planning to work there. Let's see...
Male: Good luck... dont forget us & US...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
SCENE 4
Venue: Intel Corp. US
s/w engg 1: Great news guys. Our George has got admission in the RajeShambhaji Arts College in Kolhapur with scholarship for B.A History. Agreat new field yaar...All are excited...
George : Got my Visa yesterday. It's all finalized now.
s/w engg 2 : Congrats yaar. So you are out of this country.
s/w engg 1 : B.A in Histroy...ohh. ..man, enjoy your life there?
s/w engg 2 : : Got full aid, eh?
George : Yeah. Got the UGC scholarship That will be 1200 Rupees per Year.
s/w engg 1 : Great. Enjoy.
s/w engg 2 : (Thinking loud): 1200 Indian Rupees...!that means 1200 * 45 = 54000 Dollars... with that amount I can buy anthree bed-room flat & a Mercedes here...!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
SCENE 5
A foreigner working in Bangalore as Software Engg gets a call from hisHome ..
Father : What are you doing son ?
S/w Eng : Having breakfast ?
Father : what are you eating ?
S/w Eng: Cocunut Sauce and Rice Breadie
(Idli and Chutney :-) )
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Friday, September 08, 2006
F1 - Its only the Power of Human Imagination
'F1' is not only just 'F1'
--> F1 car is made up of 80,000 components, if it were assembled 99.9% correctly, it would still start the race with 80 things wrong!
--> When an F1 driver hits the brakes on his car he experiences retardation or deceleration comparable to a regular car driving through a BRICK wall at 300kmph!!!
--> F1 car can go from 0 to 160 kph AND back to 0 in FOUR seconds!!!!!!!
--> F1 car engines last only for about 2 hours of racing mostly before blowing up on the other hand we expect our engines to last us for a decent 20yrs on an average and they quite faithfully DO....that's the extent to which the engines r pushed to perform...
--> An average F1 driver looses about 4kgs of weight after just one race due to the prolonged exposure to high G forces and temperatures for little over an hour (Yeah that's right!!!)
--> At 550kg a F1 car is less than half the weight of a Mini.
--> To give you an idea of just how important aerodynamic design and added down force can be, small planes can take off at slower speeds than F1 cars travel on the track.
--> Without aerodynamic down force, high-performance racing cars have, they usually race at over 300 kph.
--> In a street course race like the Monaco grand prix, the down force provides enough suction to lift manhole covers. Before the race all of the manhole covers on the streets have to be welded down to prevent this from happening!
--> The refuelers used in F1 can supply 12 liters of fuel per second. This means it would take just 4 seconds to fill the tank of an average 50 liter family car. They use the same refueling rigs used on US military helicopters today.
--> TOP F1 pit crews can refuel and change tyres in around 3 seconds. It took me 8 sec to read above point
--> During the race the tyres lose weight! Each tyre loses about 0.5 kg in weight due to wear.
--> Normal tyres last 60 000 - 100 000 km. Racing tyres are designed to last 90 - 120 km.
--> A dry-weather F1 tyre reaches peak operating performance (best grip) when tread temperature is between 900C and 1200C.(Water boils boils at 100C remember) At top speed, F1 tyres rotate 50 times a second.
-->And that's not Magic.... Its only the Power of Human Imagination...
--> F1 car is made up of 80,000 components, if it were assembled 99.9% correctly, it would still start the race with 80 things wrong!
--> When an F1 driver hits the brakes on his car he experiences retardation or deceleration comparable to a regular car driving through a BRICK wall at 300kmph!!!
--> F1 car can go from 0 to 160 kph AND back to 0 in FOUR seconds!!!!!!!
--> F1 car engines last only for about 2 hours of racing mostly before blowing up on the other hand we expect our engines to last us for a decent 20yrs on an average and they quite faithfully DO....that's the extent to which the engines r pushed to perform...
--> An average F1 driver looses about 4kgs of weight after just one race due to the prolonged exposure to high G forces and temperatures for little over an hour (Yeah that's right!!!)
--> At 550kg a F1 car is less than half the weight of a Mini.
--> To give you an idea of just how important aerodynamic design and added down force can be, small planes can take off at slower speeds than F1 cars travel on the track.
--> Without aerodynamic down force, high-performance racing cars have, they usually race at over 300 kph.
--> In a street course race like the Monaco grand prix, the down force provides enough suction to lift manhole covers. Before the race all of the manhole covers on the streets have to be welded down to prevent this from happening!
--> The refuelers used in F1 can supply 12 liters of fuel per second. This means it would take just 4 seconds to fill the tank of an average 50 liter family car. They use the same refueling rigs used on US military helicopters today.
--> TOP F1 pit crews can refuel and change tyres in around 3 seconds. It took me 8 sec to read above point
--> During the race the tyres lose weight! Each tyre loses about 0.5 kg in weight due to wear.
--> Normal tyres last 60 000 - 100 000 km. Racing tyres are designed to last 90 - 120 km.
--> A dry-weather F1 tyre reaches peak operating performance (best grip) when tread temperature is between 900C and 1200C.(Water boils boils at 100C remember) At top speed, F1 tyres rotate 50 times a second.
-->And that's not Magic.... Its only the Power of Human Imagination...
Monday, August 07, 2006
Memories
Was walking down memory lane,
Was walking on the beach,
Throttling the feelings of pain,
Keeping doubts out of reach.
Had a look at the sands of time
The hours when time itself stood still,
Could hear distant bells chime,
And I was walking while I still stood still.
Felt the heat of the sun beating,
Could sense an awe that the past left,
Saw the sheath of life fleeting,
Glimpses of what was there were best.
Was walking on the beach,
Throttling the feelings of pain,
Keeping doubts out of reach.
Had a look at the sands of time
The hours when time itself stood still,
Could hear distant bells chime,
And I was walking while I still stood still.
Felt the heat of the sun beating,
Could sense an awe that the past left,
Saw the sheath of life fleeting,
Glimpses of what was there were best.
Many Times In My Life
Many times in my life I have disappointed you,
and begun to stray.
But you have pointed me in the right direction,
and sent me on my way.
Many times in my life I've needed a helping hand,
and someone to pull me up.
It was you who gave that helping hand,
and always cheered me up.
Many times I've been sad and down,
and taken it out on you.
But you stood by me and comforted me,
In times that I was bad.
Many times I've needed support,
and to know someone was there.
It was you who held me up,
and showed me how to care.
Many times I've wanted to tell you this,
But never got a chance.
You have helped me out in life,
and got me where I am.
You were there for me through thick and thin,
You never gave up on me and you taught me how to care.
From the deepest of my heart I want to say I love you,
And to thank you for being there for me in times of good or bad.
and begun to stray.
But you have pointed me in the right direction,
and sent me on my way.
Many times in my life I've needed a helping hand,
and someone to pull me up.
It was you who gave that helping hand,
and always cheered me up.
Many times I've been sad and down,
and taken it out on you.
But you stood by me and comforted me,
In times that I was bad.
Many times I've needed support,
and to know someone was there.
It was you who held me up,
and showed me how to care.
Many times I've wanted to tell you this,
But never got a chance.
You have helped me out in life,
and got me where I am.
You were there for me through thick and thin,
You never gave up on me and you taught me how to care.
From the deepest of my heart I want to say I love you,
And to thank you for being there for me in times of good or bad.
To My Best Friend
This is for the greatest person
that I have ever known.
Being away from you for so long
I am feeling so alone.
With you I am so happy
you keep my heart content.
But I had to be a volunteer
-so off I went....
That is where I found my heart
and how I feel for you.
I try so hard to deny this feeling
and I don't know what to do.
I said that I would never again
let someone take my heart.
And here I'm sitting wanting you
and hate that we're apart.
Everyday you are in my thoughts,
every night you're in my dreams.
I can't believe what's happening,
is this really what it seems?
I know you're only wanting
to be the best of friends,
but I am asking you sincerely
if it's your rule you'll bend.
To take a chance to know me
to let me share it all.
And maybe one day very soon
for me one day you'll fall.
Our friendship we now have
is something that I'd miss
but maybe once we let go
we will find eternal bliss.
that I have ever known.
Being away from you for so long
I am feeling so alone.
With you I am so happy
you keep my heart content.
But I had to be a volunteer
-so off I went....
That is where I found my heart
and how I feel for you.
I try so hard to deny this feeling
and I don't know what to do.
I said that I would never again
let someone take my heart.
And here I'm sitting wanting you
and hate that we're apart.
Everyday you are in my thoughts,
every night you're in my dreams.
I can't believe what's happening,
is this really what it seems?
I know you're only wanting
to be the best of friends,
but I am asking you sincerely
if it's your rule you'll bend.
To take a chance to know me
to let me share it all.
And maybe one day very soon
for me one day you'll fall.
Our friendship we now have
is something that I'd miss
but maybe once we let go
we will find eternal bliss.
Biscuits of Love
Memories of my youth.
Flood over my soul.
When I think of Grandma.
They make me feel whole.
Gathering at her house.
With all the family there.
We made lots of memories.
For all of us to share.
Lessons that she taught me.
Guide me thru the day.
If I listened closely.
I cannot go astray.
Love and commitment.
She drilled into me.
Making the person that I am.
Just who I want to be.
Grandma has many names.
Each one has their chosen.
But the names I want her called
Starts with love,
For she is warm and not frozen.
Flood over my soul.
When I think of Grandma.
They make me feel whole.
Gathering at her house.
With all the family there.
We made lots of memories.
For all of us to share.
Lessons that she taught me.
Guide me thru the day.
If I listened closely.
I cannot go astray.
Love and commitment.
She drilled into me.
Making the person that I am.
Just who I want to be.
Grandma has many names.
Each one has their chosen.
But the names I want her called
Starts with love,
For she is warm and not frozen.
Forgive Me
To the ends of time I will love you my friend
Knowing that you're gone leaves me a bend
An angel to me you were so kind
Raising my sprits with ways I can not find
Over and over the days with you replayed
Loving you so much wished you would have stayed
I crossed a line which I know not fit
Now each day I die a little bit
An empty void replaces what I feel
Growing sadder and sadder, will I ever heal
From the feeling of love I felt for a friend
Knowing that you're gone leaves me a bend
An angel to me you were so kind
Raising my sprits with ways I can not find
Over and over the days with you replayed
Loving you so much wished you would have stayed
I crossed a line which I know not fit
Now each day I die a little bit
An empty void replaces what I feel
Growing sadder and sadder, will I ever heal
From the feeling of love I felt for a friend
3 Management Lessons
Lesson Number One *****************
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two *****************
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love tobe able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,
"but Ihaven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number Three ******************
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the f rozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two *****************
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love tobe able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,
"but Ihaven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number Three ******************
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the f rozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut
Smiles Unlimited
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1) The night was dark, the moon was high,I stopped my car....u wondered why?I leant so close, u felt shy.I uttered those three words....I ......la.......puncture !!
2) Friends r like mirrorsthey r our reflectionyou r damn lucky I look good !!!!
3) You - cuteYou = hotYou = sweetYou = intelligentYou = amazingYou = perfectMe = liar ;-)
4) I have a confession to make, ever since I have known u,Its kinda hard for me to forget u.Every night u appear in my dreamsAnd I find my self shouting.....BHOOT !!! BHOOT !!!
5) I look at the stars, the stars r beautifulThen I look at you......I ......I .......I rather look at the stars again.
6)Look at the world as one big chocolate cake.It would never be complete without few sweets n nuts.Sweets like ME and nuts like YOU.
7) u r 100% beautiful, u r 100% luckyu r 100% sweet , u r 100% niceand u r 100% stupid to believe these words
8)If lord Krishna flirts, people say its RAAS LEELA.If we flirt, people say our character is DHEELA.
9)Good looking people r hard to find.That's why u don't ......That's y u don't see me often.
10)A good speech should b like a women's skirt...Long enough to cover the subject,And short enough to create interest.
11)When u feel sad....To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,"damn I am really sooo cute" u will overcome ur sadness.But don't make this a habit.....Coz liars go to hell !!!!
12)Jassi singh tells his gf, "come home tomorrow, no one will b athome."When she goes the next day to his home.......There was NO ONE at home.
13)What frustrates the sardarji when his wife delivers twins???He wonders who is the father of the second child.
14) Your brain will be refreshed in the next fiveseconds
.....5
......4
.......3
.......2
.......1
........LOADING
.....ERROR: no brain detected.
15) WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur handsall day."
HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I couldhave a new one everyday."
16) A SARDARJI is in the library , he bangs down a book andsays :" too boring, too many characters and no story.
LIBRARIAN says : oh! U r the one who took the phone directoryaway??
17) God created ME to b ur friend. He picked ME out from allthe REST coz he knows I am ....well one of the BEST.AHEM !! don't argue with God now.
1) The night was dark, the moon was high,I stopped my car....u wondered why?I leant so close, u felt shy.I uttered those three words....I ......la.......puncture !!
2) Friends r like mirrorsthey r our reflectionyou r damn lucky I look good !!!!
3) You - cuteYou = hotYou = sweetYou = intelligentYou = amazingYou = perfectMe = liar ;-)
4) I have a confession to make, ever since I have known u,Its kinda hard for me to forget u.Every night u appear in my dreamsAnd I find my self shouting.....BHOOT !!! BHOOT !!!
5) I look at the stars, the stars r beautifulThen I look at you......I ......I .......I rather look at the stars again.
6)Look at the world as one big chocolate cake.It would never be complete without few sweets n nuts.Sweets like ME and nuts like YOU.
7) u r 100% beautiful, u r 100% luckyu r 100% sweet , u r 100% niceand u r 100% stupid to believe these words
8)If lord Krishna flirts, people say its RAAS LEELA.If we flirt, people say our character is DHEELA.
9)Good looking people r hard to find.That's why u don't ......That's y u don't see me often.
10)A good speech should b like a women's skirt...Long enough to cover the subject,And short enough to create interest.
11)When u feel sad....To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,"damn I am really sooo cute" u will overcome ur sadness.But don't make this a habit.....Coz liars go to hell !!!!
12)Jassi singh tells his gf, "come home tomorrow, no one will b athome."When she goes the next day to his home.......There was NO ONE at home.
13)What frustrates the sardarji when his wife delivers twins???He wonders who is the father of the second child.
14) Your brain will be refreshed in the next fiveseconds
.....5
......4
.......3
.......2
.......1
........LOADING
.....ERROR: no brain detected.
15) WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur handsall day."
HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I couldhave a new one everyday."
16) A SARDARJI is in the library , he bangs down a book andsays :" too boring, too many characters and no story.
LIBRARIAN says : oh! U r the one who took the phone directoryaway??
17) God created ME to b ur friend. He picked ME out from allthe REST coz he knows I am ....well one of the BEST.AHEM !! don't argue with God now.
My Treasure - For Mom
I look back on these years
To see how far I've come and grown,
I take a trip down memory lane,
And what I see has shown ...
That every step I've taken,
You have been there by my side ...
From infancy to adulthood,
We've stood the test of time.
You cradled me and nurtured me,
Through all these many years;
You held me and did comfort me,
Through happiness and tears.
You'd pick me up when I would fall,
You'd dust me off and then,
Encourage me to get back on
That horse and ride again.
Your constant care and loving,
And your warm inviting heart,
Has always been a treasure that
I knew would n'er depart.
If I could be "just half" the person
You have been to me ...
Then you have taught me well dear mom,
For in my heart I see ...
A woman whose most gentle soul,
Embraces me each day ...
A woman whom I dearly love,
Much more than words can say.
To see how far I've come and grown,
I take a trip down memory lane,
And what I see has shown ...
That every step I've taken,
You have been there by my side ...
From infancy to adulthood,
We've stood the test of time.
You cradled me and nurtured me,
Through all these many years;
You held me and did comfort me,
Through happiness and tears.
You'd pick me up when I would fall,
You'd dust me off and then,
Encourage me to get back on
That horse and ride again.
Your constant care and loving,
And your warm inviting heart,
Has always been a treasure that
I knew would n'er depart.
If I could be "just half" the person
You have been to me ...
Then you have taught me well dear mom,
For in my heart I see ...
A woman whose most gentle soul,
Embraces me each day ...
A woman whom I dearly love,
Much more than words can say.
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